I don't need the fantasy, though it is my most powerful turn-on, to express myself sexually with a woman.
Many of my partners over the years were never even aware of that part within me.
What you can't do in real life you can enjoy, vicariously, though the actions of the villain in whatever media you are consuming.
Thus, your metaphor for dragging her by the hair and forcing yourself upon her is an appealing scenario.
Women are mysterious creatures, and when you're growing up and getting your hormones, they are pretty much all you think about.
The desire to somehow control her, either through stories, videos and movies, can be an outlet for them.
I mean, who hasn't been ignored, been humiliated by or been flat out rejected by the pretty girl in school?
A lot of guys (and not just the ones who have the fetish) don't have the social skills that endear them to women, and they go their whole lives never learning what it takes to attract them.
Anybody ever have a similar personal experience from watching a movie?
I always assumed that this fetish developed in most people before they even had sexual thoughts about the opposite sex. I convinced my babysitter to tie me up when I was about 8 or 9.
The image attached, for example, is a very powerful one--but the video from which it comes is not.
One of the keys, I believe, to healthy gimp is how necessary it is.
For most of us, though, there's an ability to recognize the difference between what happens inside our heads and in the world of others.